tsubelle's avatar

tsubelle

cat in disguise
2.5K
Watchers
113 Deviations
86.8K
Pageviews
Commissions are OPEN!

please check them out! I draw many things, and do both SFW and NSFW.

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

hi everyone! I've finished my previous batch of commissions and I'm opening a few slots! I've upped my commission prices by a little bit...undercharging + putting a lot of work into each one was starting to create a bad burnout. I hope everyone understands. ;m;

here's the page:

Commissions are OPEN!
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

taking a few slots! message me here or wherever is most comfortable for you. :3

$35-$95
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Edit: I forgot to mention that I would be cremating her and getting her ashes back. This morning was so hard. She went downhill at 5AM and I thought she died, but she laid there for a while and was suddenly dying in my arms, 2 hours before the vet visit. I could not afford an emergency vet. But she calmed/quieted down when I talked, so I talked to her during those two hours and also while she was being put to sleep, she seemed a bit more relaxed and went very fast and peacefully. Part of this will eat me up because I was trying to prevent her from getting to THAT point by putting her to sleep today no matter what. She just...went downhill so fast. From walking around and peeing and purring to unable to walk and going ragdoll until I had to euthanize her...all in a few short hours. So the guilt has been eating at me all day...but I'm glad she's at peace now and no longer suffering, even if I miss my happy, bubbly and sweet cat so fucking much.

hi everyone, first of all, thanks for the people who were so kind to share and donate to help out with the chemotherapy funds for my cat. I cannot thank you guys enough for the support--I never thought people would have been interested in helping quiet little me.

but to the main subject...I am a horribly ugly crying mess right now, but with a heavy heart I've decided euthanasia for my cat tomorrow morning. her last round of chemotherapy was two weeks ago, with last week being a blood draw, and today being an ultrasound and checkup to see if more chemotherapy should be continued...but about two days ago she had changed a lot, from bubbly and happy and sweet to not eating or drinking(I syringed every two hours) until the appointment today, since I had no way to getting to the animal hospital nor had the funds on me until today. she was also hiding a lot and not wanting to be touched, and last night/this morning, I saw that she began developing jaundice, which is a symptom of a few things that are all serious.

my cat's lymphoma had gone down some with chemotherapy to where some areas weren't too big of an issue but it still wasn't nearly as much as they had expected or hoped for. also...there was considerable thickening inside her gallbladder with debris/sludge in it and had an infection going on, ontop of the cancer. an area in one of her kidneys having issues too. the gallbladder was causing her liver's bilirubin to be very elevated and I'm actually surprised she wasn't even more yellow--hers was rather faint.

the oncologist and the techs there are really compassionate. they aren't greedy for money and provide as many options and perspectives as they can, and are realistic with their clients as both workers with years of experience, and as one animal lover to another. the oncologist thoroughly discussed exactly what was going on with my cat to paint a realistic view on it and told us that there are options to try to help her out, however, they were very expensive due to aggressive hospital care(this always runs in the /thousands/) for something that most likely would work poorly due to the organs affected, along with the fact that my cat has an infection with cancer and she's currently immuno-suppressed. as much as I want to keep my cat around...it's about quality of life for her, not quantity, and I can tell she's very ill and I have this hunch that her body /will/ start shutting down soon if I decided against euthanasia. as her owner I can't be selfish and drag her around while she's miserable. the oncologist completely agreed and respected it.

I actually felt kind of bad...I knew it was going to be bad news today, but the news still made me hang my head down and cry very hard, my mom by me was even crying because she feels bad for both my cat and me, and the oncologist had to look down and take a moment because she was nearly crying. the techs really like my cat too so they were upset. I didn't mean to upset anyone...but it was overwhelming and too hard for me to hold it in. it hurts so much. my friend and baby I've had for such a long time will be gone tomorrow, you know...? after tomorrow, I will no longer be able to see her, hold her, hug her or kiss her or cuddle her ever again like I did every day, multiple times a day. I try my best to look at the positives and how long I got to have her, and the oncologist reminded me that this allowed me to have her a little bit longer compared to if I didn't do anything...but it's hard right now. it's a struggle, and all I can think about is how awful cancer is, and how my cat who was extremely healthy for her age suddenly developed this, and now will be gone tomorrow.

I will be quiet for a while, I'm sorry for my commissioners but I need my space to mourn. I was extremely close to my cat and I have very close emotional bonds to her and my other furbaby. again, thank you to the people who have helped me, and if people have some advice with dealing with this awful grief, please talk to me about it. it hurts so much...just so damn much.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I meant to post this way earlier but I forgot about it, but I just wanted to thank everyone for the feedback with sharing the journal with my cat's condition, and donating. it means a lot to me. I was originally really scared of doing this, because I've been on deviantART since 2002 and this is the first time I'm reaching out for help like this. I'm not a very popular or good artist by many standards but it really, really, REALLY means a lot that people have responded and have shown compassion for me and my cat. thank you so much. ;; I want to do a thank you thing but I'm not sure what to do...I'm so bad at ideas. aaaaaa
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured

$35-$95 Commissions are OPEN! by tsubelle, journal